I repeatedly hear books on relationships, not only yours, that keep saying not to send or reach out to someone you like when you’re in an emergency and not to send pleas and emergency texts to the person you like. Terry, we form relationships to share not only our joys but sorrows. I would like my friend to be dependable as well and to be there for me when I truly need someone in an emergency. So when I am sending out an emergency call and he does not respond then how dependable is he?

We all want someone there for us when life swings downward. Is not life about ups and downs? I feel a friend should help another when an emergency call goes out, if not as an ex but as a fellow human being on humanity grounds and on the basis you know this person or a fellow soul. If he/she is not even there for you to call in an emergency, then why in the world would someone want to have a relationship with that person? What’s even the point of getting into a relationship?

In a relationship, you definitely (absolutely, without question) should be able to call a man to come to your aid in an emergency. Hey, in a relationship, you should be able to invite him to dinner. The author of the ebooks you mention is discussing something entirely different: How to mend a relationship that has ended due to a breakup. He makes the excellent point that, once a guy has broken up with you, the LAST thing you want to do is call him, show up where he hangs out.

This is quite different from being in a committed relationship, or in a relationship that is getting off the ground. If you have an emergency, and you need help, ask for help. The right guy will help. The wrong guy will have something better to do. Again, when you are in a committed relationship, the man should definitely be your friend. The man in your life should be there for you, as you should be for him. You should be able to rely upon him. Where’s the love and happiness in that?